Thursday, September 17, 2009

Summer of '09!

I was driving down the street today and noticed the leaves on the trees are starting to change. Is summer really over, and even more shocking, is fall already here? Wowzer.

The summer of 2009 marks one for the history books. Filled with weekend getaways to the lake, daily treks to the park, WATER, family, and "firsts" for our little Riley made this summer so memorable. It's going to be a little harder to say good-bye to this one...

Let me take you back to the summer of 2007. Cale had just been diagnosed that May and Alex and I were still floating around in this world of confusion, shock, grief, disbelief, and the BIG unknown. We were alive and breathing but I don't think either of us understood the concept of "living". For me, it was a daily choice to wake up each day and face the challenges and reality of the situtaion we were now in. I was depressed, plain and simple. I didn't want to go anywhere, I didn't want to do anything, and I made every excuse as to why it was best for me to just stay at home and be alone. I didn't want to see anyone. I lost a lot of weight and have never cleaned so much in my entire life. My house was always spotless. I was prescribed an anti-depressant but stopped taking them within a few weeks because I didn't think I needed them. Note: definitely not one of my wiser decisions but I was convinced I was fine, and even if there was something wrong, I was determined to fix it under my own strength. With the mindset of always wanting to be alone and never wanting to go anywhere, our summer never had an opportunity to be anything but boring. We made it through those three or four months without incident.

Moving forward to the summer of 2008. This summer can be summed up in one word: PREGNANT! I was due in mid-July which made everything just a little more complicated. We couldn't venture too far from home and I honestly cannot recall any major events. By now my depression was long gone! I was thrilled to be pregnant and so excited to make Cale an older brother. We had more of a picture of what to expect with Cale, which didn't necessarily make things easier but it definitely lifted some of the worries we had for him. I LOVED being pregnant, therefore each day was full of smiles and lots of laughs. The one thing I remember so vividly of that summer was taking long walks after dinner, not only for the exercise but also for the hope of inducing labor. That summer our little Riley was born and our lives were changed forever!

And now to the summer of '09. Flathead Lake, Seattle, Billings, Big Sky, McGregor Lake, Spokane. We traveled almost every weekend this summer and can be validated by the fact that we only attended church once. ONCE! Crazy! We spent several weekends up at Flathead swimming, boating, riding the wave runner, and watching our kids have a blast. Once you become a parent it's way more fun to watch your kids have fun than it is to have fun yourself. I love watching them smile and enjoy life! We learned that Cale LOVES to swim and that Riley is a bit of a scardy cat. Cale loves to ride in the boat while Riley falls fast asleep once it starts moving. They played in the Sound, toured Pike Place Market, stepped on "gooey ducks", swung from a rope swing, watched a wedding, went to the zoo, caught a fish, rode a wave runner, intertubed, watched a geyser, floated a lazy river, rode a camel AND a horse, and spent hours and hours playing at the park. I know I'm forgetting a handful of things but that is just a taste of what our summer was all about. I love being a family of four and even more than that, I love that we held nothing back. We didn't limit ourselves to anything and never made an excuse as to why we couldn't do something. We just did it and we did it with gusto! I'm so proud of us and not because we were able to survive countless nights of our kids sleeping in the same room, but because we have come so far from the summer of 2007. Emotionally it is still hard and I still fight those same emotions of "why us" and "why can't he just run around and play with the other kids", but I've learned a whole new appreciation and love for my family. It is perfect and just as God intended it.

Here's to making this upcoming Fall just as GREAT!

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