First Day of School

When I first began thinking about having children, and even before that, I never put much weight into the concept of "preschool". I honestly thought preschool was just another term for daycare. After having Cale and making the choice to be a stay-at-home mom, I figured he could learn whatever he would at preschool better at home, with me. If left up to me, Cale would not go to preschool. But once we learned Cale would face great challenges developmentally, school flew off my radar. It was my desire to keep Cale locked in a box, safe at home, where the cruelty of other kids could never touch him. I didn't even know what his options for schooling were, anyway. I figured it best to just never really even think about it.

About a year ago, though, the idea of preschool was brought up to me by someone who follows Cale closely through the Child Development Center. From our conversation about preschool, it would be a matter of "when" and not "if" he would attend. Once he turned three, she said, he would be eligible to start. Six months later we started the necessary paperwork but I still wasn't soaking in the reality that he would, one day, go to preschool.

Last month we had two meetings at Jefferson School where Cale would attend. They put him through a series of tests to determine where his strengths and weaknesses were so that they knew how to better serve him. I was becoming more and more comfortable with this idea and began to understand that these people were Cale's allies and that preschool would be of great benefit to him.

Cale turned three last Sunday and today we had our last and final meeting at Cale's school. We developed a plan and a set of goals for his teacher to work towards. He will get speech, physical, and occupational therapy at the school. He will be in a classroom with both normal and "not normal" developing children. His classroom has a pet bunny, lots of different centers such as writing, drama, sensory, art, and reading. It was bright and cheerful and it immediately made me feel at ease when I walked through the door. "Cale is going to LOVE this!" I thought. Right now there is only one other little boy in the class but they expect to get more children soon, but never exceeding twelve. This means lots of one-on-one time for my little boy which I am thrilled about!

After talking a little bit with his soon-to-be teacher she asked if we had any more questions. Naturally, I asked when Cale would start, thinking that we had originally planned for sometime in January after the craziness of the holidays had passed. She asked if he could start as soon as next week. "Next week!" I thought. I obviously was not as comfortable with this idea as I thought because I immediately started to cry. I don't really know the reason behind the tears other than I'm just amazed at how fast kids grow up. I also can't really imagine a chunk out of the day when I'm not with him. For three years I've spent every moment with him and have known exactly what he's done. I've been right there for EVERYTHING and it makes me sad knowing that if he does something well or if he learns a skill for the very first time that I won't be there to clap for him and cheer him on. I suppose that is what will be the hardest thing for me to accept when I drop him off and drive away.

On the other hand, though, he will be learning things that I can't teach him. He will undoubtedly become more independent and maybe, for the first time, I will get to experience the joy Alex does when Cale gets excited to see ME when I pick him up from school! He will make friends and be able to show me what he's learned at the end of each day. I'm excited for that. I will also get a little break during the day and be able to spend some one-on-one time with Riley; something she's never gotten whereas Cale had that for the first twenty months of his life. A little mother-daughter bonding time will be good for my soul.

Cale's first day of school is Tuesday, which means I only have a few days to go school shopping for him. First thing on my list: a backpack! Come on, how cute is Cale going to be with a little backpack strapped to his shoulders?