Cale is a "client" of the Child Development Center here in Missoula. I'm not exactly sure of its purpose (government run programs never make any sense to me) but twice a month a "family support specialist" comes and visits our home to play with Cale, ask questions, fill out paperwork, etc. About three months ago she mentioned a program that will pay for a child's therapies, special equipment, etc...for LIFE! There is a huge waiting list and a pretty intensive application process, and although Cale will probably never get accepted (it's based on a "need" basis and compared to a lot of kids Cale's needs are very low) but we decided to get on the waiting list anyway, just in case. One part of the application process is to write an essay on why you think your child needs this service.
Sounds easy, right?
My internal battle is not knowing how to put in words everything that is wrong with our son and how it's affecting our family. We've been advised to not sugar-coat anything, make it as heartfelt as possible, and explain how our dreams of having a child were broken when Cale was diagnosed. Ever since we found out that Cale was going to have some difficulties we have tried to be as positive as possible - and probably too positive at times. Never have I wanted to portray a "poor me" attitude but that is exactly what this essay is asking me to do. I'm not sure I know how to do that and I hate that I have to try. I fear that in putting those thoughts on paper I will lose the little hope I have for Cale. I know I'm already losing hope and I'm scared that this essay will be just enough to put me over the edge. "Cale is going to be normal someday, it's just taking him awhile to get there", is what everyone always tells us.
But what if he's not? This essay has the power to lift a huge financial burden off our family and I can't even get past the first sentence.
This is definitely going to stretch me, emotionally, in ways I have never gone before.
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