B Town

The kids and I are in Billings and have been since yesterday evening. I wanted to spend an extended amount of time here, longer than just a weekend, so that I could hang out with my family and possibly some friends that I haven't seen since forever ago! It turns out the "extended" amount of time that I will be in Billings is eight whole days. This would normally be heaven but I had to leave my better half behind in Missoula and so it makes this trip bittersweet. I am, however, so excited to spend so much time with my parents and hopefully get in some good quality bonding with my sister, too. Plus, tonight the Broncos take on the San Diego Chargers and there's no better person to watch a Bronco game with than my dad. :)

My poor family has been hit with what I am sure is the H1N1 flu. None of us have officially been diagnosed, mainly because it's a lot of money and none of us are ill enough to be hospitalized, but it's really taken a toll on our health. Riley definitely has it the worst and she is going on day eight of a fever, cough, runny nose, and refusing to eat. Grr. There's nothing more frustrating to me than a child who doesn't eat! I think it stems back to the days when it took all of our might and energy to get Cale to drink 2 oz. of formula when he was just an infant. He was hospitalized twice for refusing to eat and so even though I know this situation is completely different from Cale's, I still get a bit defensive when anyone in my family chooses to skip the whole eating gig. I've been praying tirelessly for better health and so hopefully we will see some improvement in the next few days. I hate it when my kiddos are sick because I want nothing more than to take away their misery, but alas I guess these sorts of things just need to run their course.

As I was driving away from Alex and headed here, my mind kept wandering toward the thought of, "I wonder what it would be like to be home alone, for an entire week, without the kids?". Since the kids were born I don't think I've been alone for more than two hours...literally...and so wrapping my mind around the thought of a week, seven whole days, 168 hours, is simply impossible. The freedom I would have boggles my mind. To Alex's defense, he says he's going to hate being away from us and he'll most likely fast for seven days since he'd rather go hungry than make himself a sandwich. He says he made a list of things he wanted to accomplish around the house, one task for each day that I'm gone, so hopefully I will come home to pristine living conditions and an organized garage. (downsizing for us has really only meant shoving things in our garage, and eventually I would like to park my car in there when the wintery cold weather settles in for the next five months.) I miss him already and it hasn't even been 24 hours. I give props to those wives out there that have to be away from their husbands for considerably longer times than that! I guess I'm a bit of a wuss, but what can I say, I love that man more than words could ever describe.

There are certain things about being at my parents' house that I just adore. For example, I immediately have a new and complete wardrobe, shoes and all! My mother "allows" me access to her closet which makes packing for this trip a breeze! When I still lived here after high school I was terrible at putting things back where I found them and so sometimes I got reprimanded for wearing her things, but I like to think that I have improved immensely in this area and hopefully she has the full confidence that everything will be exactly where she last put it. Also, my mom has the nice and expensive makeup! Since getting married, having children, paying a mortgage, and trying to make sure my kids have enough food to eat, makeup has been real low on the priority list. Sometimes I wear it, sometimes I don't, and even when I do, it's the cheap stuff found at Target and Wal-Mart. I have no problem buying this kind of makeup but it's still really fun to think that the more expensive stuff makes me look prettier. :) And a more recent perk to staying with my parents is that my dad has gotten into the silversmithing business, and when I say "business" I really mean just a hobby. He loves it (or so I think) and so when I come here he generally lets me pick out certain designs of jewelry and stones that I want him to make for me. My jewelry box at home is almost running out of room but that is totally okay with me! Jewelry is my beloved friend and I say the more the merrier!

Going back to that part about never being alone from the kids for more than a few hours and not even being able to imagine that? Well, I apparently don't mind that I have a toddler attached to each hip for more hours out of the day than not, because Alex and I have seriously been "considering" trying for a third child. I've written about this in previous posts but never actually took myself seriously. Well, I brought up the idea to Alex and he told me he would think about it. Thinking is good. Thinking doesn't necessarily mean making any decisions. During Alex's "thinking time" and even months before I actually brought up the idea with him, I prayed HARD about adding to our family. Two kids is a lot of work and I'm guessing three kids is just plain suicide. I want what is best for our family and especially what is best for Cale. Would a third child take away the attention that Cale needs, or would a third child help him along in the same way Riley has helped? There is an endless list of pros and cons and to be honest it's all too overwhelming. All of my friends are pro baby and so we get nothing but grief from them...in a good way of course. Alex and I do make some darn good babies that it would be a shame to stop at two. In my mind I needed someone that would tell me I was completely crazy and the best person for that job was my mother. So yesterday as we were driving to her house I very casually mentioned to her that Alex and I were thinking about having another baby. To my complete and utter surprise, she thought it was a good idea. This is coming from the woman that nearly passed out in her mashed potatoes when we told her we were pregnant with Riley during Thanksgiving dinner. (Note: probably not the best time to deliver that news) I think she was just worried that we would experience the same kind of complications with Riley that we did with Cale, but now that we know I'm capable of delivering a full-term baby, I think the idea settles much easier with her now. Uhhh, I don't know. I'm still praying HARD and asking God to give me, US, clear direction, but I think in this case it might take Him coming out of Heaven and bonking me on the head to get the message across. A letter would be nice, too.

So there you go. I'm in Billings for a week, missing my husband, living like a celebrity with a whole new wardrobe and jewelry maker, and thinking about voluntarily admitting myself into a psyche ward with my three children. Here's to a happy week!