It seems almost too good to be true...

...that Cale is walking.

It was only one or two months ago that I was laying in bed and trying to come to grips with the fact that it may be another few years before he started walking. Keep in mind, this was the "best case scenario" I had created in my head. Cale walking has always been an "if", never a "when". Our physical therapist mentioned to me about a year ago that she predicted Cale to independently walk at maybe two years of age, but prepared me that it may take him until he was three, four, or even five years old. Age two came and there were clearly no signs of him walking anytime soon. Age three, as I told myself as I way laying in bed that night a month or two ago, was coming quickly and even though Cale had progressed, I still thought independent walking was a big "IF". I never allowed myself to assume that he would walk, but instead went to the other extreme and started thinking of what kind of house we would need with a child in a wheelchair. Stairs would obviously be a big "no" and it would need wide hallways, big bathrooms, and an entry that was ramp accessible, not to mention countless of other things. I started to seriously consider options of new vehicles that would fit a wheelchair. I've always thought vans and wheelchairs were two peas in a pod and it took some serious pride negotiations on my part to come to grips that I may very soon be the proud owner of a van. Yes, I admit I had some stereotypes to families who drove a van but ever since I made owning a van myself a realistic possibility, I have kicked those stereotypes right out the door. Just to make that very clear. Two and a half years ago when Cale was first diagnosed, the thought of having a child who couldn't walk or ride a bike, run and play with his friends (assuming he even had any...kids can be so cruel), throw a baseball or swing a golf club, or even just participate in normal school activities, was enough to make me not want to live anymore. In heaven I wouldn't have to deal with the pain of having a child with a disability.

Fast forward two and a half years...

I have a child with a disability and he's absolutely amazing. He has far more character than I do and works harder than any child I've ever known. He believes in himself and has more self-confidence than any other three year-old probably should. He has no shame and and truly lives like no one else is watching. When God tells us to become like children, I get this picture of Cale. I can't imagine my life without him and even more importantly, I can't imagine the person I would be if God hadn't brought Cale into my life. Cale has been my life's greatest lesson, greatest reward, and greatest test. I have more patience, more compassion, more empathy, more love, more faith, and more hope that I never could have had if it weren't for Cale. My life, because of him, is ongoing proof that God is good, even during life's greatest challenges. I have come a long ways from the day when I thought dying would have been better than living.

Oh yeah, back to Cale walking. CALE'S WALKING!!! I have no idea what happened in the last few weeks but all of a sudden he's decided that walking is actually a better and more convenient way of getting from point A to point B. He's still wobbly and looks like an infant who's just finding his legs, but he's walking. He falls down, a lot, but he's walking. It's still hard for me to comprehend how huge this milestone actually is and so I'm not really going to go into how this has changed me, but I will tell you how proud Cale is of himself. You should see the smile and look of accomplishment he gets. He knows he's doing something amazing and even though he can't verbalize his emotions, I picture him saying something like, "Look, Mom...I'm finally doing it! Do you see me, do you see me, do you see me??? Clap for me because I'm amazing!" And he does love the attention, let me tell you. He makes sure to look in the eyes of every person in the room before he starts off, JUST to make sure they are looking and going to participate in the celebration after he reaches his destination. I'm not sure when, or if, I will ever stop clapping and rejoicing with him. Seeing the joy in his face is enough to bring me to tears. I love seeing him so happy.

Cale walking, like I've said before, doesn't cure him or make his disability any less, but it sure is amazing and is a huge testament to the work that God is doing in his life. He turns three in twenty-three days and even though he won't be running around with his friends at his birthday party, you can bet that he'll be toddling after them.

PRAISE GOD!