"It's the most wonderful time of the year..."

Life these days has been busy, busy, busy! I thought Cale starting preschool would slow things down a bit but it has done the complete opposite and sped things up! Instead of relishing in the five hours he's gone during the week, my mind is flooded with the errands I should be running, the bathrooms that need cleaning, or the floors that need scrubbing. I know I should be relaxing with Riley and enjoying her but instead I find myself running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Perhaps after we have adjusted to this new schedule I will learn how to manage my time a bit better.

Cale has recently started doing a few new things that are completely adorable! During dinnertime he patiently waits with his hands folded and his head bowed until all of us have sat down and prayed. It is too cute! And being that it is Christmas time and the masses of people are out and about shopping, traffic has been terrible! I literally cringe when I realize I have to brave the roads and run an errand. Apparently Cale doesn't like the traffic, either; he signs the word "go" when we have to sit in traffic for too long and just this morning, after we had sat behind someone at the ATM machine for far too long, Cale frowned his lip and waved his hand at the car in front of us. Too funny! Even though he can't vocalize any words yet, we are finally at a point where we can pretty effectively carry on a conversation with him. I have yet to finalize a signing chart for his preschool teacher but he probably has over thirty signs he uses without us having to prompt him. We have only seen a glimpse of his frustration of not being able to vocalize his exact needs and for that I am very grateful. Cale is one of the most patient, understanding, and forgiving people I know. I also realized today that I haven't cried about Cale being different in a long time. In fact, I don't remember the last time I cried. The last emotion I recall having when thinking about our circumstances was pure thankfulness. Cale continues to make me a better person and I am so blessed to be his mother. I honestly would not change him for the world. God wasn't messing around when he made Cale. :)

Riley is now seventeen months old and keeps me on my toes every second! She is hilarious and makes me laugh until my belly hurts. One of her new activities is to slide like a ROCKET on her stomach down our stairs. (We have a set of fourteen stairs and so this is quite the show) It used to scare me tremendously but I have since gotten used to it and so now I just think it's funny. She has adopted most of Cale's signs and I think they have even created a few of their own to talk about Alex and me behind our backs. :) Her favorite sign is "chicken" because it involves "pecking" your hand like a chicken would peck the ground. She involves sound effects and all. She loves her brother and as much as I pray that she will stay a mommy's girl forever, she is slowly becoming partial to her father. The only way I can comfort myself with this realization is knowing she will have a great relationship with Alex, much like the one I have with my dad, and also thanking the Lord for providing her with a father. Watching her get so excited for him to get home from work is quite cute.

Christmas is only four days away and I can hardly believe it. My parents are coming to our house this year and I am excited to make Jesus a birthday cake on Christmas Eve and for homemade cinnamon roles on Christmas morning. This truly is one of the most wonderful times of the year...

Snow blobs, backpacks, and girl time!

*Sigh* I've made it through two full week of Cale going to preschool and let me just tell you, I AM LOVING IT! Who knew how easy things would be with just ONE child? Going to the grocery store, the mall, INSIDE of a coffee shop rather than having to use the drive-up are just a few of the luxuries I've been able to enjoy during the two-and-a-half hours that Cale is learning away. I have soaked up every minute that I've been able to be alone with Riley, because unlike Cale, she hasn't had much one-on-one time with us. She is at such a fun age and I've been reminded lately through friends and other different circumstances that although my kids, at this age, make me want to rip my hair out at any given moment and start screaming out the windows, this time truly is precious and someday I will want these days back again. With that thinking I believe I have truly been able to enjoy my kids more while Alex is at work. I previously would stare at the clock and wait until lunchtime when he would come home for a few minutes to grab a bite to eat, and then after he left I would stare at the clock until it was time for naps, and then HALLELUJAH! Dad came home from work!!! Now, though, I have started to miss my kids while they nap and when we put them down for bed at night, I can't wait to wake up in the morning and see their precious faces. Weird, I know.

Today the kids and I spent a good twenty minutes getting ready to have our first play day in the snow! Without too much crying about why we had to wear snowsuits and gloves we finally made it into our backyard, and the white winter wonderland that was just waiting for little people to make a mess of things lay perfectly still before us. That's how I pictured it in my mind anyway. First step out the door and both Cale and Riley started to cry. "Okay, just act like a complete goofball so they know it's supposed to be fun and eventually they'll come around, right?" So I'm out there flopping around in the snow, making snowmen, throwing snowballs at them and...NOTHING. Beneath their hats I could just see two little people staring at me as if I'd lost my mind. Cale couldn't walk because his boots were a little too big and chunky and I'm pretty sure Riley thought she might step into a big crevasse if she put one inch of her foot on the snow. I managed to keep their crying at bay while I put them both in the sled and drug them around our yard for a few times. I caught Cale smiling once so I know he had a little bit of fun but Riley kept a straight face the entire time. I even think I saw her raise an eyebrow at me as if saying, "Mom's lost her mind if she thinks I am going to have any fun at all." Soooo, perhaps they just need a little more time to adjust to the fact that snow is indeed one of the best and most fun things about winter. As for me, my dream of watching my kids make snow angels and try to stick their tongue to something metal will have to wait for another day...

On a side note, today is my dad's birthday!!! If being a parent myself has made me realize anything, it's been how great of parents I had while I was growing up. I honestly could not have dreamed up a better dad. I attribute me choosing such a great husband because of how great my dad is. Seriously, I love him so much and I just wish we lived closer so we could see one another more often. If you're reading this, Dad...HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I love you!

I hope everyone is getting close to completing their Christmas shopping...it's CRAZY out there!!!

First Day of School

When I first began thinking about having children, and even before that, I never put much weight into the concept of "preschool". I honestly thought preschool was just another term for daycare. After having Cale and making the choice to be a stay-at-home mom, I figured he could learn whatever he would at preschool better at home, with me. If left up to me, Cale would not go to preschool. But once we learned Cale would face great challenges developmentally, school flew off my radar. It was my desire to keep Cale locked in a box, safe at home, where the cruelty of other kids could never touch him. I didn't even know what his options for schooling were, anyway. I figured it best to just never really even think about it.

About a year ago, though, the idea of preschool was brought up to me by someone who follows Cale closely through the Child Development Center. From our conversation about preschool, it would be a matter of "when" and not "if" he would attend. Once he turned three, she said, he would be eligible to start. Six months later we started the necessary paperwork but I still wasn't soaking in the reality that he would, one day, go to preschool.

Last month we had two meetings at Jefferson School where Cale would attend. They put him through a series of tests to determine where his strengths and weaknesses were so that they knew how to better serve him. I was becoming more and more comfortable with this idea and began to understand that these people were Cale's allies and that preschool would be of great benefit to him.

Cale turned three last Sunday and today we had our last and final meeting at Cale's school. We developed a plan and a set of goals for his teacher to work towards. He will get speech, physical, and occupational therapy at the school. He will be in a classroom with both normal and "not normal" developing children. His classroom has a pet bunny, lots of different centers such as writing, drama, sensory, art, and reading. It was bright and cheerful and it immediately made me feel at ease when I walked through the door. "Cale is going to LOVE this!" I thought. Right now there is only one other little boy in the class but they expect to get more children soon, but never exceeding twelve. This means lots of one-on-one time for my little boy which I am thrilled about!

After talking a little bit with his soon-to-be teacher she asked if we had any more questions. Naturally, I asked when Cale would start, thinking that we had originally planned for sometime in January after the craziness of the holidays had passed. She asked if he could start as soon as next week. "Next week!" I thought. I obviously was not as comfortable with this idea as I thought because I immediately started to cry. I don't really know the reason behind the tears other than I'm just amazed at how fast kids grow up. I also can't really imagine a chunk out of the day when I'm not with him. For three years I've spent every moment with him and have known exactly what he's done. I've been right there for EVERYTHING and it makes me sad knowing that if he does something well or if he learns a skill for the very first time that I won't be there to clap for him and cheer him on. I suppose that is what will be the hardest thing for me to accept when I drop him off and drive away.

On the other hand, though, he will be learning things that I can't teach him. He will undoubtedly become more independent and maybe, for the first time, I will get to experience the joy Alex does when Cale gets excited to see ME when I pick him up from school! He will make friends and be able to show me what he's learned at the end of each day. I'm excited for that. I will also get a little break during the day and be able to spend some one-on-one time with Riley; something she's never gotten whereas Cale had that for the first twenty months of his life. A little mother-daughter bonding time will be good for my soul.

Cale's first day of school is Tuesday, which means I only have a few days to go school shopping for him. First thing on my list: a backpack! Come on, how cute is Cale going to be with a little backpack strapped to his shoulders?