The Train

Everyone has seen them.  You know, the trains they put in malls to let children climb all over?  When I was pregnant with Cale I swore to myself I would never let him play on what I saw as The Big Giant Germ.  Well, that quickly wore off and before I knew it I was one of those moms letting their kid get exposed to who knows what!  I've heard other moms say they have seen kids pee on it, wipe their noses on it, lick it, throw up on it...you get the picture.  Despite all of the disgusting things that go on there on a daily basis (do you think someone cleans it everyday, if at all???) I have found that watching Cale play around on the train makes me rather proud.  

I remember the very first time he got up enough courage to venture over to it all on his own.  For months he would just sit on my lap and watch all of the other kids play. When I set him down to see if he would join the others he would either break into immediate tears or freeze completely.  The day he crawled up the stairs and went down the slide all by himself made me cry.  I was SO proud.  My son, who usually froze around other kids and got too scared to do things on his own without me or Alex around, was becoming a big boy!  He was discovering that he could do things - challenging things - without our help.  I'll never forget that day.

Today, since the weather is turning and it's too cold to play outside, I went to the mall to let Cale burn some energy and play on the train.  It usually takes him a moment to warm up to the idea - he surveys the other kids and makes sure I give him the signal that it's safe.  Today he didn't even look back at me as he took off crawling towards the stairs.  There are two slides on this particular train - a little slide and a big slide. Cale likes to go down the little slide a few times before he develops enough courage to conquer the Big One!  Well, today he went right for the big slide.  He looked at me with a huge grin before going down and when he reached the bottom he giggled with delight.  

One might see this as something small but for me it was like going back to that first day.  I looked around to see if other moms were watching me or my son swell with pride but no one even threw us a glance.  There must have been ten other kids running around and not one mom was even looking in the direction of the train.  One mom was talking on her cell phone, some other moms were drinking coffee and chatting, and I'm guessing the other moms just dropped their kids off while they went shopping.  I'm not saying I love my child any more than other moms because that would be silly to assume, but I am so thankful that Cale is the way he is because I will never take the small things for granted.  It's far too easy to get caught up in the speed of life but Cale forces me to slow down and be grateful for each day, each victory - big or small.